|
| i have moved. www.xanga.com/e_kram | | |
| Ok i take it back. January has been an "okay" month. I guess i changed my mind when i went to Liwanag's retreat at Big Bear on the 23-25. BUt i'll get into that later when i have time to write..so til next time... | | |
| January..the year of the monkey. Knowing that i love moneky's maybe this year would be a good one for me, but JANUARY..has been a sucky month. I've lost soo much but gained only a little. January has been my emo month. Hopefully the other 11 months won't be as bad. Nothing really has been going on with my life just struggling to hold on to my education especially bio. I'm hanging in there. I'm concentrating more on myself and the other clubs i'm involved so i wouldn't have to cope with other people's bullshit. Church has been a great way for me to escape the cruel world of ridicule and humility. I have peace at church. Though it's awkwards for me at times because i usually keep my religion to myself...i'm learning to be open minded and that i am a fool for God. Day after day i think about how i've been unfaithful, how i've sinned, how my life isn't how i want it. Basically i've been thinking a lot. Who doesn't? Dwelling more on the future. Where i want to head...right now all i got are my friends here in irvine, my bestfriends and some friends back at home. With all that i don't have to worry so much but yet concentrate more on my studies..become a nerd...study because apparently my social life isn't getting me anywhere but exposure to new people. Smoking is still part of my life. I'm slowly letting go. It's hard enough not to think about it but as my homegirl once said.."i smoke because i'd rather be the first one to die, i can't see myself losing my significant other.." as selfish and inconsiderate as it is..it's kind of true. But if people only knew that struggle i've been going thru they'd understand that smoking has helped me...im tryin my best to find a better way to escape the cruelty and pain that is instilled in my soul and heart. I learned that keeping to yourself is better than exposing your identity to others. YOur private identity is what people cherish the most...it is what makes me unique. Alright well that's all for january...i dont expect much...neither do i in february..ehh month of love....whatever...til next time... | | |
| First and Formost Happy New Years. Welcome 2004. 2003 has been a blast. Well at least for the most part. College life was interesting but quite stressful at the same time. Meeting new people and putting behind the past is the best feeling because you can only await what's ahead. I learned a lot while i ventured thru the past year. I learned the value of friendship, the tru meaning of love, the ridule and torment that i went thru emotionally. I accepted the fact that i am a big hypocrite and a big liar in the yea 2003 which im going to su rpass for 2004. No more. I learned to value life more each day and that life would be better without all the bickering and fightin and hating. Love one another so that animosity wont float throughout auras. Yes ia m satisified with myself. I wish i could change a few things but who wouldn't want to? The whole ordeal with the fmaily is gettin better i guess u can say. Moving to irvine has been the best experience for me. I learned a lot while i was there esp all the bs i put myself and my parents thru that i regret. All the bitchin all the complainin wasn't all necessary. But im glad i did because it shows that i have some kind of affirmitive action thru my needs and wants. I still hear the daily bs of my parents complainin but i learned not to back talk but just to listen. I learned to put myself infront og helping people because it hasnt done shit for me the past years. I gotta focus on my goals. I'm trying to stregthen my faith but i can't do it with my parents forcing me to do "prayers." To me it shouldnt be forced..all is better if its own your own. Who said we had to have a religion am i right? but im not stupid i do believe in God but let me believe and think what i want to. I hardly will be going home only to get the whole full likfe college experience but i hope that my grades will meet up to my expectations. I do believe in the saying. study hard..party harder. For sho. I meet someone hella cool this past week before the new year. New friend. Hopefuly all things will go well. I learned that i can't wait for things to happen or people to call me but id have to do it myself like always. Don't rush love...real love isn't meant to be rushed. Distance has no meaning because u can love someone whereever you are...amen. I'm a strong believer. Yes long distances can be hard physically and mentally but it's all about faith and trust. The two main essences in real love. I am still amazed on how much ive learned but ig uess i owe to a lot of people. For waking me up and slapping me back to reality. I've always been a person to be goal driven. Always willing to do something out of the norm. Someone who doesnt need to be told over and over or else id forget and not listen. I really enjoy life when there isnt drama around me...but that's rare. Others done define who u are. Live life to its extreme. I learned that hey if u got the time and u got the money do it. This whole venture to san francisco has been on extreme trip to me because i didnt tell my parents and when i brought it up to them they didnt carre. Its only bad because it was from my account money i need for colege but i mean hey when will i ever go back? i really want to travel. i am not going to wait for my parents i want to do it myself. I'm kind of glad i don't havea job because then i have more free time but then again college people need money too. fawk. I hate relying on my parents with financial need because they always bitch and tell me that life would be easier if i went to SDSU or whatever but fuck that if i did id go crazy. but madd props to people who still cope with their rents..they need to be slapped sometimes. My next goal for this year is to travel to Hawaii or New York. I want to go to New York with Lani and Danica but our spring breaks arent the same but hawaii i might because my mom and her prayer group might be going. I hope this new year will bring joy and happiness in my life. All i can do is wait..the hardest part but hey that's life..well as i close this year of 2003 i just want to say Thank God for all the blessings and allowing me to see a whole new year and hopefully He continues to do so. Til next time... | | |
| Wdup Wdup. Let's see. Xmas was celebrated at my house. It was cool. All the clothes that i got i'd actually wear. Thanks family and friends. Xmas didn't feel xmas but it was grand like always. Today i went to Sea World with Elaine and Ming. Kat P was suppose to go but she couldn't because she went out with her uncle. Elaine got 4 free tickets and we had to use them before the new year. We parked in the Employee parking hah they don't check, shit at least i didn't have to pay =). Thank God Elaine use to work there. We started the day with the Shark Encouter then Fools with Tools then Pirates 4D. We rode Shipwreck 4 times consecutively without gettin off the ride because it was night time and no one wanted to get soaked haha but we did. After that we watched Shamu's House of Douse and oh boy were we freeezin. We felt like we were going to get hypothermia ha. We ate some bomb ass cotton candy and some bomb ass funnel cake with ice cream..so good we got seconds haha. After the sea world ordeal we rushed to my car to turn on the heater...we were ICE COLD. we went to get some starbucks then ate some 99 cents chinsese food form star express and ate it at Narmines. Our day ended around 10. It was all good ol fun. THANK YOU NARMINE for the shirt...BOMB! i love it. =) U know me well...til next time... | | |
|
|
